Buffalo Bills
Pros: They're probably not moving to Toronto.
Cons: The Bills' offense has looked anemic during the preseason and losing Kiko Alonso (their leading tackler from last season) for the year isn't going to help any. Also, Doug Marone seems like a boob.
Overall: Injuries and ineffectiveness will limit the Bills this year. But if you want to look for a silver lining, maybe they'll finally be bad enough to actually get a game changer for next year.
Predicted Record: 3-13, 3rd
Miami Dolphins
Pros: Their uniforms are still awesome.
Cons: Can any part of the Dolphins really give a fan of theirs confidence? Their offensive line is going to be terrible which will make a likely putrid offense be even worse. Also, Knowshon Moreno is their starting running back. Good times.
Overall: The Dolphins' defense will likely be the thing that keeps them afloat, but I don't see much happening for them even in a weak AFC.
Predicted Record: 3-13, 4th
New England Patriots
Pros: They've been so dominant for so long that Bill Belicheck seems to be actively fucking away his team's chances for success out of boredom. They'll probably still win the division and make it to the conference championship anyway.
Cons: On paper, the Patriots have the makings of a great defense for the first time in... a really, really long time. The downside is that Belicheck seems to want to see Tom Brady get horribly mangled.
Overall: Are you kidding? The Patriots have taken full advantage their conference being utter shit for the last few years. It ain't stopping now.
Predicted Record: 11-5, 1st
New York Jets
Pros: The defense will probably be really good again.
Cons: The offense will probably be really bad again.
Overall: Based solely on the strength of the rest of the division, excluding the Pats of course, the Jets will probably have a decent shot at a playoff berth. Did I mention that the AFC is horrible?
Predicted Record: 8-8, 2nd
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That'll do it. Look for my predictions for the NFC East in a few hours.
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