Saturday, September 6, 2014

2014 NFL PREDICTIONS: WEEK 1 SUNDAY AND MONDAY GAMES

Total Record: 1-0 (1.000)

1. New Orleans Saints at Atlanta Falcons

Thoughts: The Saints begin their season on the road, but in a dome. The Falcons are better than they were last year, but the Saints have a potent offense and capable defense. Ugh. Eh, screw it.

Picks: Saints

2. Cincinnati Bengals at Baltimore Ravens

Thoughts: The Bengals are on the road against a divisional opponent. They're 2-7 since 2011 in that scenario.

Picks: Ravens

3. Buffalo Bills at Chicago Bears

Thoughts: I know a guy who I think will be very sad on Monday. I on the other hand will be happy. Quite happy.

Picks: Bears

4. Washington Redskins at Houston Texans

Thoughts: One of the few things the Texans did well last year was their pass defense, which was third-best in the league. With Robert Griffin III struggling and with Washington on the road, the Texans will get their first win in almost a full year.

Picks: Texans

5. Tennessee Titans at Kansas City Chiefs

Thoughts: Chiefs are at home and will win.

Picks: Chiefs

6. New England Patriots at Miami Dolphins

Thoughts: Patriots on the road but will win.

Picks: Patriots

7. Oakland Raiders at New York Jets

Thoughts: The Jets' secondary looks dreadful, and the Raiders are starting rookie Derek Carr, but he'll be going against a great Jets defensive line. I don't know what to think, so I'll just go with the home team.

Picks: Jets

8. Jacksonville Jaguars at Philadelphia Eagles

Thoughts: The Jaguars will be better this year, but not until week 2 at the earliest.

Picks: Eagles

9. Cleveland Browns vs. Pittsburgh Steelers

Thoughts: God the Browns are bad.

Picks: Steelers

10. Minnesota Vikings at St. Louis Rams

Thoughts: Tough call. I think the Rams' defense will maul Matt Cassel all game long and keep Adrian Peterson in check.

Picks: Rams

11. San Francisco 49ers at Dallas Cowboys

Thoughts: The 49ers are going to steal the Cowboys' lunch money then go to jail. Cause the 49ers, 'm I right?!

Picks: 49ers

12. Carolina Panthers at Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Thoughts: Cam Newton has been gimpy for a month and Derek Anderson attended the production meeting for tomorrow's game. I don't know what that means other than the Bucs' defense beating the Panthers' asses.

Picks: Buccaneers

13. Indianapolis Colts at Denver Broncos

Thoughts: Big game, likely big points. I think the home field advantage will notch the Broncos the win, Welker or no Welker. I haven't looked this up, but I believe with this win, Peyton Manning would become the second quarterback to start against and beat all 32 teams. So yeah, another notch in his hall of fame belt.

Picks: Broncos

14. New York Giants at Detroit Lions

Thoughts: I'll be in class while this is going on, so I'll miss a majority of this game. Thank fucking God. I think the Lions will win despite playing sloppy ball. The Giants will be sloppier.

Picks: Lions

15. San Diego Chargers at Arizona Cardinals

Thoughts: I have to be in class by 8:30 in the morning. I'm not watching this game. Which is a shame, because I think it'll be fun. The Cardinals are the better team (or at least more talented on paper), so I'm going with them.

Picks: Cardinals

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