Total Record: 1-0 (1.000)
1. New Orleans Saints at Atlanta Falcons
Thoughts: The Saints begin their season on the road, but in a dome. The Falcons are better than they were last year, but the Saints have a potent offense and capable defense. Ugh. Eh, screw it.
Picks: Saints
2. Cincinnati Bengals at Baltimore Ravens
Thoughts: The Bengals are on the road against a divisional opponent. They're 2-7 since 2011 in that scenario.
Picks: Ravens
3. Buffalo Bills at Chicago Bears
Thoughts: I know a guy who I think will be very sad on Monday. I on the other hand will be happy. Quite happy.
Picks: Bears
4. Washington Redskins at Houston Texans
Thoughts: One of the few things the Texans did well last year was their pass defense, which was third-best in the league. With Robert Griffin III struggling and with Washington on the road, the Texans will get their first win in almost a full year.
Picks: Texans
5. Tennessee Titans at Kansas City Chiefs
Thoughts: Chiefs are at home and will win.
Picks: Chiefs
6. New England Patriots at Miami Dolphins
Thoughts: Patriots on the road but will win.
Picks: Patriots
7. Oakland Raiders at New York Jets
Thoughts: The Jets' secondary looks dreadful, and the Raiders are starting rookie Derek Carr, but he'll be going against a great Jets defensive line. I don't know what to think, so I'll just go with the home team.
Picks: Jets
8. Jacksonville Jaguars at Philadelphia Eagles
Thoughts: The Jaguars will be better this year, but not until week 2 at the earliest.
Picks: Eagles
9. Cleveland Browns vs. Pittsburgh Steelers
Thoughts: God the Browns are bad.
Picks: Steelers
10. Minnesota Vikings at St. Louis Rams
Thoughts: Tough call. I think the Rams' defense will maul Matt Cassel all game long and keep Adrian Peterson in check.
Picks: Rams
11. San Francisco 49ers at Dallas Cowboys
Thoughts: The 49ers are going to steal the Cowboys' lunch money then go to jail. Cause the 49ers, 'm I right?!
Picks: 49ers
12. Carolina Panthers at Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Thoughts: Cam Newton has been gimpy for a month and Derek Anderson attended the production meeting for tomorrow's game. I don't know what that means other than the Bucs' defense beating the Panthers' asses.
Picks: Buccaneers
13. Indianapolis Colts at Denver Broncos
Thoughts: Big game, likely big points. I think the home field advantage will notch the Broncos the win, Welker or no Welker. I haven't looked this up, but I believe with this win, Peyton Manning would become the second quarterback to start against and beat all 32 teams. So yeah, another notch in his hall of fame belt.
Picks: Broncos
14. New York Giants at Detroit Lions
Thoughts: I'll be in class while this is going on, so I'll miss a majority of this game. Thank fucking God. I think the Lions will win despite playing sloppy ball. The Giants will be sloppier.
Picks: Lions
15. San Diego Chargers at Arizona Cardinals
Thoughts: I have to be in class by 8:30 in the morning. I'm not watching this game. Which is a shame, because I think it'll be fun. The Cardinals are the better team (or at least more talented on paper), so I'm going with them.
Picks: Cardinals
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