NFL WEEK 5 PREDICTIONS

I'll be completely honest, I was going through Thursday night fatigue before the Buffalo/Cleveland game. Every game on the NFL Network to that point had been either incredibly dull or sloppy or an unholy combination of both. So I was expecting more of the same this past Thursday. ...And the Browns and Bills played probably the best game I've seen this year so far. Couldn't have come at a better time.

Anyway, on with the predictions.

Byes: Vikings, Steelers, Buccaneers, Redskins

1. New Orleans Saints at Chicago Bears

Thoughts: The Bears being at home will likely tilt this in Chicago's favor. The Saints are never quite as potent on the road and the Bears' defense, despite last week's hiccup, will slow down Drew Brees enough to secure a win.

Pick: Bears

2. New England Patriots at Cincinnati Bengals

Thoughts: Tricky game. Andy Dalton has been below average and the run game got stuffed last week. New England is inexplicably winning games that they shouldn't be (you say this Bill Belichick person is a good coach, eh?). Cincinnati's been pretty good against the run, so the LeGarrette Blount show will probably be preempted this week, which means more Tom Brady throwing to random guys. It'll be close, but I'll go with the home team.

Pick: Bengals

3. Detroit Lions at Green Bay Packers

Thoughts: The Lions haven't won at Lambeau Field since the Bush administration (the first one, in case you were wondering). The Packers are coming off of a bye and thus, should be healthier. Even though the Packers have seemed to take a step back this year, I don't think It'll really matter this week.

Pick: Packers

4. Seattle Seahawks at Indianapolis Colts

Thoughts: This should be fun. Seattle is one of the best teams in the NFL, but they aren't the same on the road as they are at home. Indy meanwhile has played great this year here, there, and everywhere. I'll be bold and go with the upset.

Pick: Colts

5. Baltimore Ravens at Miami Dolphins

Thoughts: Both teams are coming off bad losses (is there such a thing as a good loss?). Baltimore (and by Baltimore, I mean Joe Flacco) has really struggled on offense this year, but their defense has looked improved over last season's squad. Tannehill has been sacked 18 times (!) and has a fumbling problem but like the Ravens, Miami's defense has played very well this year. Another tough call, so I'll go with the home team again.

Pick: Dolphins

6. Philadelphia Eagles at New York Giants

Thoughts: Geez, who gives a damn? The Eagles' defense is God-awful and the Giants aren't anything to write home about to put it nicely. Once again, home field advantage will probably be the deciding factor.

Pick: Giants

7. Jacksonville Jaguars at St. Louis Rams

Thoughts: Will Justin Blackmon's return from his suspension be the deciding factor in a Jaguars win? No. No it will not.

Pick: Rams

8. Kansas City Chiefs at Tennessee Titans

Thoughts: Now here's an intriguing match-up. Alex Smith is coming off of probably his worst game since the last time he faced the Giants, but hasn't thrown interceptions this year except for the aforementioned Giants game. The Titans meanwhile, are without Jake Locker for the time being and will start Ryan Fitzpatrick in his stead. Fitzpatrick has had stretches of good play in his career, but he's rarely, if ever, been consistently good through a long stretch. With both teams fielding great defenses, I think Fitzpatrick's skills (or lack thereof) will be the key.

Pick: Chiefs

9. Carolina Panthers at Arizona Cardinals

Thoughts: The Cardinals had to fight to win against the Buccaneers last week. Let's just say that Arizona wasn't exactly going up against Tampa's 2002 team, so how will they handle the Panthers? Carolina's coming off of a bye and before that, an absolute dismantling of the Giants. But I'm not sure what played more of a factor. The Panthers playing well, or the Giants being horrible. Coin flip = home team prediction.

Pick: Cardinals

10. Denver Broncos at Dallas Cowboys

Thoughts: Von Miller still hasn't come back from his suspension. The Broncos lead the league in points scored and total offense. Peyton Manning is doing his best Brett Favre on the 2009 Vikings impression. Imagine what this team will look like when Miller can play. Oh, and the NFC East is the worst division in football by leaps and bounds.

Pick: Broncos

11. Houston Texans at San Francisco 49ers

Thoughts: Matt Schaub is actively holding the Texans back with his crappy play, but those in charge of the organization love him. I'm worried that Schaub will play great and screw up my prediction, but come on, it's the 49ers. Matt Schaub against the 49ers' defense < Colin Kaepernick against the Texans' defense.

Pick: 49ers

12. San Diego Chargers at Oakland Raiders

Thoughts: A bonus prime time game on the NFL Network thanks to the Oakland Athletics making the MLB playoffs. This puppy has an 11:35 PM EST kickoff. You couldn't pay me to watch this game.

Pick: Chargers

13. New York Jets at Atlanta Falcons

Thoughts: The Falcons could stop the Patriots' offense and it was the freaking Patriots' offense. Luckily, they're facing an interception prone rookie this week.

Pick: Falcons

That'll do it. Now I'll spend the rest of the day screwing around on the internet.