Well, this is it: the last week of the regular season. The playoffs begin a week from today and a month from now the season will truly be over with the completion of Super Bowl XLVIII. But we'll cross that bridge when it comes. For now, here are my stats and predictions for the final week.
Week 16 Total: 11-5 (.688)
Total Record: 151-87 (.634)
1. Carolina Panthers at Atlanta Falcons
Thoughts: Fun fact: the Panthers haven't won in Atlanta since 2007. Of course, the Falcons are the drizzling shits this year, so I think that fortunes will change this year.
Pick: Panthers
2. Baltimore Ravens at Cincinnati Bengals
Thoughts: Despite the Bengals' less than stellar record against divisional opponents since 2011, they've played great at home (7-0 this year). Want another fun fact? This is the fourth season in a row where the Ravens and Bengals wrapped up their seasons against each other and it's the third year in a row the game has been played in Cincinnati.
Pick: Bengals
3. Jacksonville Jaguars at Indianapolis Colts
Thoughts: The Jaguars have played their divisional opponents extremely hard this year (barring their last game against the Colts anyway), which makes me think there may be an upset in the works. Tough call actually, but I'll go with the home team nonetheless.
Pick: Colts
4. New York Jets at Miami Dolphins
Thoughts: This is another potential upset waiting to happen. Say what you will about Rex Ryan, but the Jets play very hard for him. But I'm still going with the safe pick and the home team.
Pick: Dolphins
5. Detroit Lions at Minnesota Vikings
Thoughts: Honestly, with the way the Lions have played the last few weeks, do you really think they'll suddenly turn it on for one game? I don't. By the way, this will be the last ever game played at the Metrodome. So that's neat at least.
Pick: Vikings
6. Washington Redskins at New York Giants
Thoughts: All I can say is "congratulations to the St. Louis Rams for your shiny top 2 draft pick."
Pick: Giants
7. Cleveland Browns at Pittsburgh Steelers
Thoughts: I know this has been the story since 1999, but wait until next year Browns fans. Teams don't usually send five players to the Pro Bowl for no reason. Of course, that won't be of much consolation against the Steelers. (The Steelers are going to finish at .500 after an 0-6 start? Who do they think they are? The 2009 Titans?)
Pick: Steelers
8. Houston Texans at Tennessee Titans
Thoughts: Speaking of the Titans, they'll win tomorrow.
Pick: Titans
9. San Francisco 49ers at Arizona Cardinals
Thoughts: Man, the Cardinals have been great this year. Bruce Arians should win Coach of the Year for the second straight year (if that prediction comes true, he's be the first coach to win the award in consecutive seasons since Joe Gibbs did it from 1982-83). The 49ers had to fight tooth and nail to beat a terrible Falcons team, and now they're on the road against the first team to beat the Seahawks in Seattle since 2011? Not gonna be a good day for you, Niners fans.
Pick: Cardinals
10. Green Bay Packers at Chicago Bears
Thoughts: Aaron Rodgers is back, which freaks me out. But damn it, I'm going with the Bears.
Pick: Bears
11. Buffalo Bills at New England Patriots
Thoughts: Bill Belichick is a really great coach. That's all I'll say about that.
Pick: Patriots
12. Tampa Bay Buccaneers at New Orleans Saints
Thoughts: The Saints are at home, which means they'll actually play well.
Pick: Saints
13. Denver Broncos at Oakland Raiders
Thoughts: Watch this game if you can, if only to watch Peyton Manning shatter damn near every significant single-season passing record.
Pick: Broncos
14. Kansas City Chiefs at San Diego Chargers
Thoughts: The Chiefs will continue to limp to the postseason with a loss tomorrow.
Pick: Chargers
15. St. Louis Rams at Seattle Seahawks
Thoughts: Last week notwithstanding, always bet on the Seahawks at home.
Pick: Seahawks
16. Philadelphia Eagles at Dallas Cowboys
Thoughts: Kyle Orton will take Tony Romo's place as the signal caller for the Cowboys. And it would be the most Cowboys thing ever if they won this game tomorrow. Still, it's the Eagles' turn to secure a division title by way of a Dallas meltdown.
Pick: Eagles
If all of these predictions hold true (and they won't), this is what the playoff picture will look like:
AFC
1. Denver Broncos
2. New England Patriots
3. Cincinnati Bengals
4. Indianapolis Colts
5. Kansas City Chiefs
6. Miami Dolphins
NFC
1. Seattle Seahawks
2. Carolina Panthers
3. Philadelphia Eagles
4. Chicago Bears
5. New Orleans Saints
6. San Francisco 49ers
Plus, the Texans would have the number one pick in the 2014 draft, and while Washington would have the number two pick, it'll be the Rams' pick thanks to the RG3 trade. Regardless of what the outcomes are tomorrow, things won't be boring.
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