NFL WEEK 9 PREDICTIONS

Total Record: 78-42 (.650)
Byes: Cardinals, Broncos, Lions, Jaguars, Giants, 49ers

1. Kansas City Chiefs at Buffalo Bills

Thoughts: I can't foresee a scenario that doesn't end with the Chiefs clinching a winning record. There's not a whole lot I can add to that.

Pick: Chiefs

2. Atlanta Falcons at Carolina Panthers

Thoughts: Atlanta is in free fall, but if any consolation can be gleamed from that statement, I also said the Dolphins were in free fall. But the Falcons' offensive line blows, and the Panthers have one of the best front sevens, which means bad times for Matt Ryan. The Falcons' defense also blows, which likely means good times for Cam Newton.

Pick: Panthers

3. Minnesota Vikings at Dallas Cowboys

Thoughts: Let me put it like this- Christian Ponder has been so bad, that he's going to make the Cowboys' defense look good.

Pick: Cowboys

4. New Orleans Saints at New York Jets

Thoughts: This is a tricky one since the Jets are at home and the Saints generally don't play well in the open air. Then again, against that secondary, it'll look like the Saints are playing in a dome this week.

Pick: Saints

5. Tennessee Titans at St. Louis Rams

Thoughts: This is Jeff Fisher's first game against the Titans (whom he coached for almost 17 seasons). It's also a rematch of Super Bowl XXXIV. This game won't be nearly as fun as that Super Bowl. The Rams are a mess (which probably means they'll win). Jake Locker has actually played very well so far this year.

Pick: Titans

6. San Diego Chargers at Washington Redskins

Thoughts: Washington is also a mess, but the Chargers are playing at 1:00 PM EST. I think that'll work out in Washington's favor.

Pick: Redskins

7. Baltimore Ravens at Cleveland Browns

Thoughts: In hindsight, Ozzie Smith probably shouldn't have traded away Anquan Boldin. Even though the Browns haven't won since the beginning of October, I think they'll have the edge at home against a lackadaisical Ravens team.

Pick: Browns

8. Pittsburgh Steelers at New England Patriots

Thoughts: The Steelers aren't good. The Patriots aren't the same, but the defense is playing very well (although they've lost seemingly everyone on that side of the ball this year) and Bill Belichick is an amazing coach. I think they'll punch the Steelers in the soul.

Pick: Patriots

9. Philadelphia Eagles at Oakland Raiders

Thoughts: Look at Terrell Pryor playing decently! The Raiders are pleasantly a middle-of-the-road team, which is a marked improvement from a mostly God-awful team they've been for much of the last decade. The Eagles are decisively meh.

Pick: Raiders

10. Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Seattle Seahawks

Thoughts: Never bet against the Seahawks at home. (And even though I don't like to demand for jobs to be lost, can the Glazer family just get it over with and dump Greg Schiano already? What is gained by having him continue to keep his job? Really, can you give a credible answer to that question? I can't. Okay, rant over.)

Pick: Seahawks

11. Indianapolis Colts at Houston Texans

Thoughts: This is such a tricky game. The Texans have won three straight home games against the Colts, but have been playing badly. The Colts have been on a roll for the most part, but haven't won in Houston since 2009. Left is right and up is down. Screw it, I'm going with Indy.

Pick: Colts

12. Chicago Bears at Green Bay Packers

Thoughts: No Jay Cutler. No Lance Briggs. Depleted defense. On the road at Green Bay. Do. Not. Like.

Pick: Packers

That'll do it. I'm gonna go take a nap. I've been sleeping a lot lately. Sleep is good. So is football. I'll wake up in time for football. Sounds good! Bye.