I DON'T BELIEVE IN THE CHURCH OF BASEBALL

As I mentioned yesterday, I tried to talk about Ryan Braun and my inner Lisa Simpson took over, spewing a bunch of things that were on my mind and only tangentially connected to each other onto my computer screen. This is another attempt to try and talk about what I was trying to talk about in an article you will never read. Because I'm crazy, that's why.

About an hour before the Braun suspension news came out, Hardball Talk published this article. Go read it yourself, it won't be as long as this, but to briefly summarize: the NFL still isn't testing for human growth hormone because the NFL Players Association is (seemingly or or in reality) deliberately dragging its feet on the matter. The NFLPA finally relented a few days ago, and allowed for players to give blood for testing before a full anti-HGH agreement is finalized. The MLBPA meanwhile, allowed for full blown HGH testing to begin this year. And yet besides Pro Football Talk, I don't read any articles from major publications that condemn the NFL for dicking around on this matter, while baseball seems to get reamed every day by some asshat who claims that the PED culture in MLB is out of control. Despite the fact that they test for HGH and damn near any other drug you can realistically use to make you play sports better. MLB can't catch a break while the NFL gets a free pass. It happens. And I don't know why that is.

I can only speculate. So let the speculation begin!

Baseball has been around in America since around the end of the Civil War, and many of the older pro teams in the National League have been around since 1876 at the earliest. The charter members of the American League have been around since 1901. My point is, pro baseball has been around for over a century, and thus a certain romanticism has crept up in baseball unlike any other sport in the U.S. Now, football, basketball and hockey are certainly romanticized as well, but they haven't been for as long as baseball.

Film often influences people's perceptions of certain things and issues, and baseball is no different. Movies like Pride of the Yankees, The Natural, Bull Durham and Field of Dreams, all romanticized looks at baseball in one way or another, are deeply entrenched in the public consciousness and affect how people perceive baseball. All of them show a very sterilized version of baseball. Hell, Bull Durham is probably the most realistic of all of them, showing some of the sadder sides of being a marginal player in an organization, and yet no one in that Goddamn film talks or acts like a real human being. Again, that's the realistic take on baseball in film as far as popular movies go.

What inspiring, wonderful piece of pop culture treats football with such reverence? You might say NFL Films, and yes, there are plenty of features put out by the company that wistfully recall great moments and people, but there are just many features showing even the biggest stars acting like irrational pricks. Basically, you get an up close and personal look at the game of football, warts and all. Balanced by a fair amount of whimsy, yes, but not as much as baseball.

As far as movies go, what is there for football? Brian's Song? It's certainly well known and well regarded, but the movie focused mostly on Gale Sayers' relationship with Brian Piccolo, with football just part of the backdrop. Field of Dreams meanwhile, actively canonizes the game of baseball itself. Baseball is the only sport where you can base an entire 90 minute to two hour film on nothing more than talking about how great baseball is. The only sport. I mean, would you want to watch a movie whose whole point is how great curling is? Or lacrosse? Or hell, even football, basketball or hockey?

Name a great sports movie, and it usually has to do with someone or a group of people doing something extraordinary, and the sheer determination and fortitude it takes for that person or team to accomplish it or come close. It's the journey that's the most important part. The games, whatever they are, are almost irrelevant. The Hustler is about a guy who plays pool, it's not about the game of pool. Downhill Racer is about an Olympic caliber skier, not about Olympic skiing. And so on.

Back to romanticism of sports in popular movies, what about basketball? The NBA has only been around since 1946, so it might as well still be in diapers compared to the other major sports. Even when aspects of it is romanticized, it's the players more often than not that are seen as higher beings, like Michael Jordan, Magic Johnson and Larry Bird. And when I find a list where Space Jam is considered one of the best basketball movies ever, you know that Hollywood hasn't had much luck in making your sport reverential.

Hockey has been (and you can argue still is) marginal in the United States compared to the other three sports. We do love hockey here in the U.S. of A., but Canada we ain't. As far as movies go, Slap Shot is probably the best hockey movie ever, one of the best sports movies ever, but it's not exactly a pleasant journey into the nuances of hockey. It's a movie where pretentious speeches go to die a bloody death.

"We believe in the Church of Hockey..."

Now if you can still remember what I was actually talking about originally, then congratulations, have a gold star! But there actually was a point to me going off on this tangent. It's that baseball has been put on a higher pedestal than the other sports. Even with the NFL overtaking it as the most popular sport in the country, you can't beat baseball as far as being ingrained in the public consciousness. It is seen as something pure, something truly American in its goodness. It's right up there with apple pie and God as far as being good and wholesome.

So when something like the steroid era of the late 80s, 90s and early 00s are uncovered, it's a black eye not on a sport, but an American institution. And if you shit on something so wonderful in its Americanness, you can go to hell forever, Socialist!

That's where I feel this makes baseball a pariah no matter what when it comes to drugs. Because a great number of people (or a very loud, very vocal minority) don't want any unseemliness in the sport. They don't want bad things to happen in it. Because nothing bad is supposed to happen to good old apple pie. When players use drugs to get ahead in baseball, they are harming an American institution. When players use drugs to get ahead in football, they are harming a popular game. There's a very big difference in those two statements. And that's why baseball will never win.

So thank you Ed and Steve Sabol, for giving us a great game in football to enjoy and appreciate, not an institution to worship.