COME SEE ALL THE STARS... OR DON'T

The MLB All-Star game is tonight, and I'll be watching. Thank you for asking.

I watched last year's game, and thought it was fun. It wasn't spectacular, but it was fun. I got to see most of the biggest stars in the game, and it entertained me. That's all I really want out of an exhibition. But the All-Star game isn't just the simple exhibition it had been.

Since 2003, the league who wins the All-Star game determines which team has home field advantage in the World Series. This came about due to the 2002 All-Star game resulting in a 7-7 tie, because the two sides ran out of pitchers. Now, we as a society have been conditioned to think that a tie is like kissing your sister, which isn't good (unless you're into that). So to combat this travesty, the powers that be in baseball decided to put the World Series home field advantage on the line to ensure that the All-Star game would be taken more seriously.

Now why weren't people taking the All-Star game seriously? This is actually a problem across the sports landscape. Players don't give a shit about their respective exhibitions.

"Another one of these goddamn things..."

It's a different era from even twenty years ago. Back in the day, players selected to All-Star exhibitions treated it as if it were a typical game and played as though it was. Nowadays, players tend to see these games for what they are: a nice piece of fluff. They don't play as hard as they would in a normal game. After all, what if they get hurt? Are players really going to potentially jeopardize their careers in the name of a meaningless game? No. Nor should they. The mindset of today's athletes are different from their predecessors and the days where Jack Youngblood played in the Pro Bowl with a broken leg are long dead.

To make you feel better about that, here's Mr. T punching a shark.

Obviously, this doesn't lead to a great deal of compelling performances. But that isn't necessarily bad, though it can be. I'll give two examples, one good, one bad.

First, the bad. The Pro Bowl. Football is personally my favorite sport, yet I've never seen a Pro Bowl. I don't care to. This is the game where the whole "it doesn't matter" thing really hurts. Among the four major sports, football is the second slowest game behind only baseball, so when it's slow, it's especially plodding. Besides that, football is often equated to human chess, with a great deal of strategy and preparation needed to beat most teams. What strategy is there in the Pro Bowl? It's a score-fest, with defense being purely optional. And for good reason, seeing is that football is the most physically demanding sport of the major ones, putting in extra effort in the Pro Bowl could very easily lead to serious injuries, unlike most of the other sports.

So part of the fun of watching football, the strategy, is almost completely nonexistent. And because the defense doesn't give as much of an effort in this game, the high scoring is rendered meaningless. It's just a bunch of grown men playing flag football. And flag football should only be reserved for your backyard on Thanksgiving.

Like so.

Another detriment to the Pro Bowl is that most of the stars that are picked for the game, you've seen. They're the big stars on the big teams that get plenty of prime time exposure. But even if you wanted to see a player from a team that wasn't on national television, is it really worth it to slog through a watch for one or two players? Plus, as of 2012, every one of the 32 NFL teams are on prime time television at least once a year, so if you want to see great players, you can watch them in games that matter.

Which leads us to the good side of the coin, the NBA All-Star game. The NBA is so fully aware that the game is meaningless, that they've turned the weekend before it into one big party. Musicians preform, there are skills competitions, and its just a good time overall. Plus, even though 3/4 of the game itself is just the players not giving a shit, once the fourth quarter starts, suddenly shit is given in abundance. Their competitive spirits start flowing (helped by the fact that basketball played at half speed still involves a lot of contact), and the game becomes really exciting for twelve minutes. So good going NBA, you throw a killer party.

So where does that leave the baseball All-Star game? In an effort to make the players give a little more... effort, they put a potential season altering stipulation at the end of the game with home field advantage in the World Series at stake. In the ten years since the All-Star game winner has determined who gets the home field, the teams that began the series at home have gone 7-3 in the last ten World Series, including the last four years in a row. It's an unnecessary addition to a fun little diversion in the middle of the season. It's a bit disheartening to not see current players play with as much passion as those who came before them, but I'd rather watch players schlub in this situation than have someone get seriously hurt.

So take away that silly stipulation, and just let the players have a good time. Or failing that, just turn it into a party like the NBA. I'm sure there's someone in baseball who can overhaul the week and make a real party of the midsummer classic.

And I know just the guy to do it.